


Deadpool goes all 5th Avenue on Spidey and turns creepy.

by spacewuuf



Series: SpideyPool Much Cute Very Wow. [3]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel 616, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: I Blame Tumblr, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Prompt Fic, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewuuf/pseuds/spacewuuf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deadpool goes all 5th Avenue on Spidey and turns creepy.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [http://benidict-cumberbatch.tumblr.com/](/gifts?recipient=http%3A%2F%2Fbenidict-cumberbatch.tumblr.com%2F).



> I blame [benidict-cumberbatch](http://benidict-cumberbatch.tumblr.com/) for this ;) Sorry, in case Wade offended you, you know how he is.

"Dayumn!", Wade thought, strolling down 5th Avenue. New York was just not his type of city. Way too large. To noisy. To little space. Though, he had to admit, it provided more than enough work for him. Always someone to lay to rest - or rip apart. He much prefered the latter. "Really, who wants an enemy killed 'quietly'?", he wondered. Much nicer to force a katana into his gut and spill his entrails over the floor. Then, while the guy was still concious, drop a demeaning line to add to his desperation and make him die in psychological agony as well as physical. "Yeah, those are the days." A wicked part of his brain was still busy endulging itself in the pictures of the most recent of such events. He thought he remembered it had been a banker off Wall Street, who'd been linked to some nasty business financing the trench-like structures along the Mexican border, that cost some 100 Mexicans their lives. Not that many Americans had cared. The guy who'd hired him did, though. What a 'just' job this had been.  
Wade played with his thumb, hands dug deep into the pocket of his hoody. Not wearing his suit was a change, but he figured in NYC seeing a comically large freak with a hoody was not so uncommon as it might have been someplace else. So he passed stores, hot-dog stalls, skyscrapers and the ever busy type of New-York-citizens who "led with their shoulder" as they progressed through the crowd, just barely faster than the average. Must have paid off though, beating the other guy to the scene by a few seconds, Wade judged, had gotten the job done plenty of times for him. If only he had the sort of senses Spidey had. Knowing when something was gonna go down would have been really cool. Him, he had to take a hit plenty of times before knowing what direction the shit was hitting the fan from. Oh Spidey. The guy was so wicked cute! His blue-red suit streching over his thin body that was so different from Wade's. Two heads shorter, 50 pounds lighter - easily - and a few years younger. Who'd turn this sorta offer down?  
Just then, Wade turned a corner and the familiar red-blue of Spidey's suit caught his eye. "Naah, Kid's gotta be in school this timea day..." Never the less, Wade looked. And found store front full of Spidey-merchandise. Macy's appeared to be a giant fan of the little Webslinger. AWESOME! "Guys, d'ya think he'll like me in an original Daily Bugle Spidey-is-a-Menace tee? Ah, wadda'ya know, most of you are probably underage fangirls. What? Offended? Grow up, willya? And let me do the hitting on Spidey! Where was I?" Oh yes. The merchandise.  
Twenty minutes later Wade left Macy's, carrying six giant bags full of all the merchandise the poor clerk could round up. He had even made them clear out some of the stuff in the window AND bought a giant suitcase to carry out even more Spidey-related fan stuff. "Off we go now to find my little Spider-Buddy."  
A different voice in Wade's head faintly said: "You know, you're a fuckin' creep?"


End file.
